Bank Holiday Blues

Boo! Yah, boo and sucks to it! My bank holiday weekend has been thoroughly ruined by humans and the dog. Wrecked! Destroyed! All my plans out of the window! Still, it could've been worse. I'll explain...

Ever since Friday we've had Becky, Erin and the dog here. Literally for the whole weekend. And of course you know what that means don't you? Debauchery and barking in equal measure. I've had to hide myself away from that hairy, beige moron as he gets on my tits so much and the humans have been making such a mess and a cacophony working on my boat that it's been near impossible for me to get anything resembling peace and quiet. But, like I say it could have been a lot worse. The buggers where planning to go cruising. Cruising!!! Without my express permission! But I had the last laugh oh gentle reader. I had the last laugh indeed. There they were buying in supplies and taking the wheelhouse down and getting diesel and making all sorts of preparations for a jolly but then the engine overheated and all of a sudden they were going nowhere fast. Hah!

I thought for a while that that was it and that they would all sod off out for the day but no. They then set about doing all manner of work on my boat and turned the placed into a bloody building site. And then (get this), and then they went and painted the side of my boat purple. F*****g purple!!! I'm sorry but I don't remember inviting anybody to paint my boat purple. I was affronted. And of course whilst all this was going on the bloody dog kept up a constant flow of barking just to prove to all and sundry what a berk he is. It's been a nightmare gentle reader, an absolute nightmare. Erin did her best to placate me with soothing words but it was no good. Thank you for trying though. You are the one shining light in a sea of infuriating humans Erin.

Like I say, this went on for the whole weekend and to add insult to injury they had a barbecue on Saturday and a big meaty fry-up on Sunday which the dog managed to get in on but did I get anything? No! Sod all! It's over now though and that panting great brute has gone home. I mean the dog of course, not the lummox (sorry for any confusion there). It'll not be forgotten in a hurry let me assure you and I now plan to launch a campaign of sulking, fussy eating and night time meowing for the next few days to get back at them for putting me through all that. So there!

PPP x

PS - I thought the lummox could break wind but that Becky is something else!