Do you recall, gentle reader, about two years ago, when I wrote about the annoying habit that the lummox had begun by calling me 'Picky'? I wasn't at all happy about this but over time it subsided and he began to refer to me more often as just simply 'Pix', which I allowed as it seemed quite cool in a way having an abbreviation. However, it saddens me to report that things recently have taken a turn for the worse. You'll not believe what the f***ing idiot has started calling me now. He's calling me... drum roll please...
'PICKLE!'
For crying out loud what on earth is wrong with the man? He's 53 years old for Gods' sake. Not old enough for dementia but old enough to not use such childish language in reference to me. Pickle? I ask you. What the bloody hell is that nonsense all about? And the awful, gurning face he has when he says it and the vile, hairball inducing, babyish tone of voice that makes my fur stand on end. Well, two can play at that game. I can think of plenty of words beginning with the letter P that I could use to describe him. For example: Prat! Pillock! Ponce! Popinjay! Prick! The list could (and should) go on but I simply don't have the time to waste on the pansy (there's another one).
Hopefully it'll stop at some point soon. If not I may have to leave a mouse on the bed or shit in one of his slippers. Yes, yes, that'll teach him. I just wonder what nonsense is going to come spewing out of his odious mouth next.
Pickle? FFS!
PPP x
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