I demand my basic feline rights!!! The right for every domestic cat to have a cat flap installed for their own personal use. And do I have one? Do I buggery! Three months we've been in this house now, three sodding months, and there's neither sight nor sound of one anywhere. Instead, I have to stand at the back door (the humans have permanently locked the front) and demand to be let out, like a dog with a bladder full of urine, and then have to suffer the indignity of waiting to be let back inside when I'm ready to return to bed. It's shameful, gentle reader, truly shameful. Do you know, they even drove to the East Midlands and back twice within the space of four days last week, and I had to stay in all the while until they got back. Its a sin, a sin I tell you, against all things feline and I'm not prepared to stand for it much longer.
So I've embarked on a campaign of pissing the two of them off. I wait in of a night time until they're yawning and getting tired and then I go and stand at the door and meow as loudly as possible so that they feel ashamed and let me out. I then disappear into the darkness and listen to them pathetically calling my name. 'Pixie, Pixie, come in now!' they call. Huh, they don't know that I'm just around the corner sniggering to myself as they stand there in their dressing gowns and slippers, wringing their hands and sounding all concerned. Balls to the pair of them. If you're that concerned then pull your fingers out and get me a bloody cat flap. Pronto!!!
PPP x
well said pixie iwould also like one but that owner of mine will not dip their hands in their pocket after all it will be better for them as you said they stand there like something possed calling out toby jug or my other feline friend who keeps eating my nosh her name is cleopatrica or i dont call her that will not digress the name i have for her anyway pixie poo keep on with the blog look forward to it with relish
ReplyDeleteToby, my friend, firstly don't let anyone take your food. Set about this Cleopatricia or whatever her name is. Secondly, it's unfortunate but true that humans, as a species, are generally tight-fisted and, in my experience, foul of breath. I hope we both get cat flaps soon.
ReplyDeleteBet you get yours B4 mine if mine was made out of wine I would have one years ago as all they ever seem to buy is that cheap shite piss heads anyway rumour has it that item you call the lummocks is of on his travels again somebody mentioned sea trials anyway fear not pixie as you will be glad to know the chap called ste is coming up to answer to your every Whim I have him around my little claw you can be sure all I have to do is meow and he is there like some demented trollop feeding me tasty morsels anyway pixie keep on with your exploits
ReplyDeleteAh yes, I know the fellow. Camera type, always taking photos. Took some rather good videos of myself looking splendid on the mooring last year. Nice enough chap, just needs to make sure the goodies keep coming. I hope you get your catflap soon.
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