It's not my fault that someone put a pond just over the wall from the back of my house. Likewise, it's no more my fault if ducklings lose their way and end up on the wrong side of the wall. And it's not my fault that I am a naturally kind and generous cat who enjoys bestowing gifts on people. So why oh why did Ange have a dicky fit when I brought a pair of ducklings home for the two of them this morning? Prattling on about how naughty I am and that ducks are our friends. Erm... I've got some news for you lady. Ducks are food. Check out the cat aisle in Pets At Home.
Anyway, I ignored her lambasting, thinking that at least the lummox would be pleased, given that the man will eat pretty much anything. But no! I had to watch whilst he gave in to his wife's whims and tenderly put the brace of ducklings in a paper bag and place them in the bin outside. Pathetic or what? All he had to do was rustle up a batch of orange sauce and he could have had a gourmet breakfast for himself. I tell you, I simply just won't bother in future. They can blasted well feed themselves from now on.
PPP x
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