A Month Of Dog

Well, I knew it was coming and it has gentle reader. It's that time of the year again, February, when the caravan park is closed for a month and everybody has to move out. Last year the humans rented a cottage for me in Haworth which was nice and I even let them stay there as well. The trouble was that Becky and Erin came too with that Labrador of theirs. It went ok in the end as we all know who is in charge around here and things went relatively smoothly. This time though Ange and the lummox have gone and invited them all (Becky's boyfriend Jason included) to come and stay for the month on my boat. I don't mind Erin and Jason seems like a nice enough fellow but Becky is still in my bad books for the way she roughed me up the other week and as for the dog, well, where do I start...

He's been here for three days and he's already got right on my wick. For one thing he barks. And when I say barks I mean BARKS!!! Honestly, whenever anyone walks past the boat either on the mooring or on the towpath he starts. And what a thundering great git he makes of himself. Jumping around on the furniture and baying at the windows like some demented pillock. What an awful bloody noise he makes. The humans tell him to be quiet but he's either barking too loud to hear them or he's too dense to understand such basic commands. Seriously, he's making a complete tit of himself.

Another thing he does is to get all excited and stupid whenever I enter the room. He seems to be labouring under the misapprehension that I would want to play his boorish, silly games with him and chase around the boat. I'm a cat for crying out loud, that's not what we do. I really find it quite tiresome and very, very irritating. So I've taken to spending most of my time in the bedroom to avoid him at all costs. I think that's for the best. Ange brings my food into me and I've got the bed to lie on and the window to look through and so I can just stay in there and let him get on with it. The barking still grates on my nerves though.

So I've got to put up with this for another twenty five days until he goes home and let me tell you I can't wait. I have to get my exercise at night time now just to avoid him. Apparently he's called Noel. Well at least I think he is. The humans say that word to him a lot. But then they also say STOP! QUIET! SHUSH! and GET DOWN! quite a lot at him as well so it could be any one of those. Dogs! Huh! March can't come soon enough.


PPP x