A Question Of Age

I have been affronted gentle reader. Yet again the humans have sought to upset me and injure my pride. How? I hear you ask. Simple! They've started buying me "senior" cat food. Senior!!! Me!!! I couldn't believe it, I really couldn't.

For a short while now I have been playing the old 'turn my nose up' game at the food I've been laughingly presented with. Some of it absolute tosh I have to say. Co-op shite and Aldi muck! Nuts to that, I want, demand and deserve the finer things in life. So the lummox was duly dispatched to Asda to see what else he could rustle up. Surely, I thought, surely even he can get it right from such a wide and varied selection. Well, he turned up with Gourmet Mon Petit (which I do actually like) and some Go-Cat biscuits (which are also quite choice) but then he blew it by pulling a packet of senior cat food out of his tatty little shopping bag. I stared at him for a few moments believing it to be some kind of practical joke and thinking that he would then produce a tin of salmon or some honey roast ham but no. The fat lout then opened the bloody senior stuff and put it in my bowl. Now, in all honesty I have to say that it actually smelled really nice and I was tempted enough to try it. And it was good, I did quite enjoy it despite the obvious insult towards me of suggesting that I am a senior cat.

Senior! I ask you! Bloody senior. I'm not a senior. I'm in the prime of my life. I have the figure and athleticism of a cat half my age. Why, you should see me leaping onto the roof of my boat and sprinting along my mooring like a cheetah. I mean, for crying out loud I'm only 10 (well, next month) and that's hardly any age for a cat these days. However, according to the packet of this food that he bought senior counts as 7+. Ee gad, that's barely out of kittenhood! 7+! Bloody hell! I was just getting my wind up at 7. And now that makes us all seniors!?! What an affront to all cats everywhere who are at that age. Humans really don't know bugger all do they? What berk decided that age 7 was when cats become senior? What twat sat and worked out that it's all downhill from there for us pussies? It's a disgrace, gentle reader, nothing short of a disgrace and I think it's time something was done to rectify this farcical fallacy.

However, it does beg the question - at what age are cats senior? I'd like to hear your furry thoughts on the matter and you can do so by emailing me at treblepcat@gmail.com or by using the comments form below. Maybe then we can stick it to the humans and get some well earned respect around here.

PPP x