House v Boat

Hello again gentle reader,

Well, despite the few grumbles from the more narrow minded of you I have to say that I've been overwhelmed by the outpouring of relief that I have received from so many of you regarding my return to blogging. Here's a brief selection of them.

Pixie!!! You're back. Life is purr-fect once more
Beano, Chester

Thank you, thank you, thank you Pix. It's like all our Christmases have come all at once.
Pepe, Darlington

I had begun to lose the will to live Pixie but now that you're back I feel like a new cat. Joy!!!
Oliver, Prestwich

So there you have it. Proof certain of just how much The Pixie Report has been missed.

Now, about this house business. Well, I've been here for a few months and I do quite like it, but how does it compare to my boat? Lets look at the pros and cons of both shall we, and then see how it all stacks up. We'll start with the house:

Pro
Central heating. Keeps me nice and cosy.

Con
Gets too warm for fat lad and he starts opening windows thus letting cold air in.

Pro
Soft carpets under my feet.

Con
Can be prone to snagging claws on it.

Pro
A flushing lavatory, the humans don't have to have what's basically a bucket full of shite hanging around the place anymore.

Con
Can't actually think of one except maybe the odour after the lummox has been in.

Pro
Stairs. Good for exercise.

Con
Just can't be arsed with them sometimes, like after a big meal.

Ok, that;s the main features of the house and it's kind of looking good. But now let's take a look at my boat in the same way:

Pro
Log burner for me to lie in front of.

Con
Lummox makes a right bleeding mess with it.

Pro
Hot metal roof for me to sunbathe on in the summer.

Con
Not so much fun in winter

Pro
All on one level, pretty much.

Con
There's only the one bedroom to get out of the way to when that f***ing dog visits.

Pro
It's mine

Con
Very few people actually seem to respect that fact.

Hmmm... that's all very compelling evidence for both. So I'm going to call it a draw. 50/50. Honours even. A tie. Six of one and half... oh for God's sake, you know what I mean. For now though the house is it. Its warm and comfortable and I'm having haddock for tea tonight. Well, I'd better bloody well be having it or there will serious trouble. I've already had to shred the lummox's hand this morning. When is he going to realise, I'll have a tummy tickle when I'm ready. Berk! Anyway, I'm doing grand for now and there'll be another installment of The Pixie Report very soon.

PPP x