Interview Day

Oh my word! You really ought to see the lummox today. What a great, fat, balding, bearded ponce of a man he is. And what a lather he has got himself into. He's going for a job interview this afternoon and if you saw the style if the man you would rock with laughter. As I have done. He's a jabbering nervous wreck for one thing. Shuffling and shambling about the place and desperately trying to learn his lines whilst trembling like a frightened kitten with fear. One minute he's in the shower and the next he's washing his lank greasy hair in the kitchen, then brushing his teeth repeatedly. In and out of the bathroom like a man with the squitters. He doesn't know what to do with himself. And then he polishes his shoes and puts his suit on. Suit! It certainly doesn't suit him. And especially when he then went and put his hair in a ponytail. He looked like an extra from Pulp Fiction. As for that tie...

And he's gone and trimmed his beard the other day. I know I can't stand to even look at the man most of the time but I had got used to seeing his straggly, scruffy facial fungus and now he's cut it dead short so that we can see the shape of his chin which to be perfectly honest is nothing to be proud of and personally I can't wait until it all grows back. I mean, seeing him dressed like that and trying to look all smart doesn't seem natural somehow and I think I much preferred him the way he was ('Hey Aqualung!' Know what I mean?).

But at the end of the day I suppose I can be gracious towards the poor sap. He's doing it all for the right reasons. And that is to earn money to spend on me. He will go out to work and earn my keep, the way it should be. Humans work, cats sleep. You can't fault the system. With the money he earns I shall be bought salmon, chicken, beef, ham etc etc. And as many Dreamies as I can eat. So fair play to him for this one. Given me a right good laugh though.

PPP x